being real {spending myself}


I can become crazy jealous and consumed in a heartbeat.
I can hear exciting news and be genuinely excited for that person,
but at the same time crazy jealous that such news isn’t happening in my life.
And then I become self-condemning because I’m not rejoicing with that person…I’m thinking about myself.
Such is the reality of my sin.

We’re each given different gifts and talents by our Master. The thing that matters most is how we use what we’ve been given, no how much we make or do compared to someone else. What matters is that we spend ourselves. ~ Francis Chan

I walk through my days wondering how to become more joyful; more grateful.
I wonder how I can cultivate a heart that continually rejoices with Him.
But I don’t stop and focus on Him.
Because that is how it happens.
I must become consumed with Christ.
The joy, the gratefulness, the security
it all comes not from focusing on the process
but focusing on the Master.

I can’t be truly joyful with my friend’s pregnancy…unless I’m focused first on Christ.
I can’t be truly comfortable with where we are financially…until I’m focused first on my security found in Him.
I can’t be grateful, finding joy in every aspect of my life…until my eyes focus first on Jesus.

With trepidation I ask to see the Lord. Like Moses.
I ask for Him to come into my life and tell my life’s story, irregardless of my comfort or safety
because it’s not my story – it’s His.

And it won’t be a story of JOY until I let go and let Him write it.

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