I wrote a while back about the feeling that my life was at a crossroads. I felt that God was leading me somewhere, but I just didn’t know where. I just knew I was on the edge of something. In that time, I’ve struggled with going back to work full time, I’ve applied for a couple of jobs, interviewed for one (and didn’t get it) and started to interview for another, decided not to, and then realized that this was what God was leading me to. I’ve had some very hard conversations with some very close people in my life.
In the past few months I’ve never felt more pursued by the Lord than I have lately. I’ve turned away from His will and His path, only to find myself front and center with it. I have prayed the scripture from Matthew: Ask and the door will be opened, seek and you shall find, knock and the door will be opened…only I’ve found that the door that has been opened, has opened me up to a place that I wouldn’t choose myself.
The dictionary defines vulnerability as: Susceptible to physical or emotional injury; Susceptible to attack; Open to censure or criticism; assailable. I have learned a lot through reading Captivating, that to be a true woman of God, you really do have to open yourself up. You can’t walk through life closed off, no matter what.
In the past months, so many things have happened to me that would easily cause a person to close herself off. And now, I feel the Lord leading me to walk towards a job that will easily cause me to be vulnerable in a way that I’ve never been before. But I’m going to do it. I’m going to walk down that path with the full knowledge that I’m walking the path I’m supposed to.
There are so many things happening in my life right now that are leading me to a place of vulnerability. Daisyeyes itself is a place where I have opened myself up. This sewing venture is truly out of my comfort zone. I have so many new and growing relationships where I need to be more open and real. And as a wife and parent, we are moving into such a new phase and the Lord is teaching my husband and I so much about being vulnerable and trusting with each other.
So, being vulnerable. This is the word that I am sitting with.