Obviously this is not a post about the awesome, wonderful and talented homeschooling mom that I am not. It is about coming to the absolute reality (and acceptance) that it just will never happen. This post comes from the reality that it is nearly the middle of July and I have done hardly any of the things I had aspired to. This has been my reality since I decided to stop teaching (yes, I was a teacher and I’m realizing that just because you were a teacher that doesn’t mean you will be naturally gifted to be a homeschooler). I started out with a 2 week old in the house planning all the things we were going to do. How to divide up my day between the two kids and how to “teach” my son since we were pulling him out of preschool. Serious case of post-pardum delirium to think that I would get anything done with a brand new babe in the house!
Now, here we are 18 months after her birth and I’m realizing that it’s not just because of her and the joys of raising more than one child. But that it is me. And that it is O.K. that I have to probably send my child to a public school (this makes me cringe) or beg my parents to continue paying for his education (thanks mom and dad!) so he can go to a private school or just hope to win the lottery (that would solve a ton of problems in our lives!). I want so badly to be one of those crazy, deliberate moms who just sits and does all this awesome learning with their kids. But honestly, I love that my kids can play by themselves or together. I am spoiled rotten by this. I want to be able to sit and do work with my little rooster, but he and I are too much alike.
So all that to say. Kudos to all the moms (and dads) out there who are doing it. I aspire to be like you. But I finally realize and accept that I am not. 🙂