knowing v. claiming

But there are those who study the perfect law, the law of freedom, and continue to do it.
They don’t listen and then forget,
but they put it into practice in their lives.

They will be blessed in whatever they do.

James 1:25

Freedom is a word that has been buzzing around my head for at least a year now. I was introduced to the idea of “living free” last year when I attended Captivating by Stasi Eldredge. I do feel like the Lord has freed me from many strongholds in my life; most definitely severe anxiety and fear. I can hear the wind whip around my house and the rain and thunder come pouring down without being completely paralyzed.

I’ve learned what it means to cling to a verse in those times. To repeat a Scripture over and again and truly pray it and pray that the Spirit would use it to calm my anxious heart. And He does.

But there are other things in my life that I’m not moving from. This verse (and the study that I’m doing in James right now) has really shook my heart. Freedom doesn’t come from knowing God’s word, but from claiming it and living it. And not merely claiming it when the winds are howling. But claiming every tiny minute of my life. In my longing to be a confident woman, confident that I am loved by the King himself; and in my longing to be authentic towards those around me I know that it won’t come by merely listening to the Word.

I can listen to all the sermons in the world. I can study and do all the Bible studies. I can pray my tiny, quick prayers, but unless I am praying for true heart change nothing is going to change. I need to pray, with confidence, “Lord, I want to be altered by You!” I don’t want to remain the same. I want your Word to transform my life.

That is a scary prayer. It means we might be taken to places and asked to do things that we don’t want to. I might have to love people that I don’t want to love. I might have to release myself and love these people in my house. I’ll be asked to do things that the Lord has been tapping my heart with (and I’ve been ignoring). But I’m praying now that the Lord does more than tap at my heart. I want Him to be like my five year old daughter who is exasperated when my eyes are fixed longer on my phone or computer and not quick enough on her.

I want Him to move my eyes, to move my heart…to fix them fully upon Him and no one else. I don’t want to be merely touched by Him…but radically changed, so I can radically love.


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