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31 days 2014

31 days {day 1: move}

October 1, 2014

Day 1 of a challenge to myself to write daily for the next 31 days. I’ve kept this journal silent for almost a year for lots of reasons and after a really hard start to our Fall, I realized that I needed to start letting out some of the words that I’ve been keeping in. Just a release of sorts. I don’t want to get caught up in the stats of whose reading and who found my little blog etc. I just want to write and process the words that have gotten all tangled up inside my head for the past while. For some structure, I decided to use the one word prompts provided by Kate over at Heading Home. Except for on Fridays, where I will hold myself to the five minutes and no editing, the rest of the week I’m just going to write like I normally would….taking time to savor and process my words.

Today’s words is MOVE.

The problem with the word move for me is my sin struggle with presumption.
I get to the point where I don’t like where I am or what’s going on and I want to move out of it
or I presume that where I’m going isn’t leading to the right spot
or I jump 2 steps ahead of God thinking that I know where to go.
None of these things ever lead me in the greatest of spots.
They lead me to anxiety and fear and just plain frustration.

When I think about the word move I almost always think about the Israelites.
When they were slaves, they wanted nothing more than to move and get out of where they were in captivity.
But then, when they had to move it was crazy scary and they had no idea where it was leading. They had to trust Moses and ultimately trust God to lead them to a better place.
But that better place was barren wilderness and utter dependence.

The Chick and I recently finished reading Pilgrim’s Progress. After identifying with the Isrealites for so long, it was so refreshing for my soul to think about my journey like Christian’s.
While Christian’s journey was hard and long. The King met him in so many different ways.
As I sort of reawaken a part of me that has been hidden and dormant.
As I start to soften and remove some boundaries that I’ve walled up, my eyes are being opened to the many ways that God does meet me throughout my journey.
Even when Christian was stuck in the Giant’s castle he realized his sin, the error of his ways and then he moved.
He keeps on moving along throughout his journey and doesn’t stop. He keeps his eyes on where he is going and remembers the King and His promises.

I want to move out of this guarded season I’ve been in. I want to move out into a freedom and light like no other. I want God to move in me and break the hardness…to create in me a clean heart and a softness because of that.

Move makes me think of this song by Mercy Me

I’m not about to give up, because I heard you say
There’s gonna be brighter days, there’s gonna be brighter days
I won’t stop, I’ll keep my head up, no, I’m not here to stay
There’s gonna be brighter days, there’s gonna be brighter days

I just might bend but I won’t break, as long as I can see your face
When life won’t play along, and right keeps going wrong
And I can’t seem to find my way, I know where I am found
So I won’t let it drag me down, oh, I’ll keep dancing anyway

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