One of the reasons why I think the word “unrelenting” spoke to me is because I feel as if I’ve been stuck.
I’ve been on this Emmaus Road walking. Sometimes maybe seeing the Lord walking with me, but most of the time with my head down pondering everything that has happened but not really looking up and moving on. Like the disciples walking, I feel like I’ve lost heart and that the things that have happened really can’t be overcome. I’ve listened to the Scriptures and the words Jesus has spoken, but I still haven’t really seen Him and heard him.
So, there I am on the road and at the table nodding my head yes, but not really letting it all sink in…soak in.
That’s why I declare 2013 to be a unrelenting.
I’m not giving up this year.
I’m persisting through my disappointment, fear, worry, anxiousness, frustration and even joy to put aside and move towards Him.
Moving into this longing in my heart to know His scriptures and actually knowing His scriptures.
Refusing to stay stuck in this place that is keeping me from knowing – and moving – into His goodness in the land of the living (Psalm 29:13).
Even when moving in the shadowlands of sadness or worry or frustration, knowing that He is there with me and choosing JOY even when everything else seems crazy.
It’s funny to write all this about being stuck and choosing joy because I’m walking into 2013 feeling so much freer than I have in years. I’m not depressed. I’m not in this place of great fear like I’ve been before. I’m not in a horrible place in my marriage. My children are healthy. I’m not facing illness. My bills are paid.
Yet even in the midst of all this, I know that there is so much more than I’m missing.
I’m still on that road with my head down.
We can be moving in the shadows even when things seem to be going just fine.
But yet God has so much more for us than just being fine.
And that comes with an unrelenting pursuit.
Soaking my daily minutes into His scripture.
Refusing to listen to the whispers in my head and around me and going to His word.
Fully giving over my heart into forgiveness
Choosing to be healed and moving into that healing.
Walking into 2013 with my head up and eyes on Him.