leftovers

I like leftovers.
Leftovers mean that my husband has 5 more minutes to sit on the couch with me in the morning instead of making a lunch.
Leftovers mean that I don’t have to scrounge around at lunch time and figure out what to eat.
They mean that maybe I get a night “off” from making dinner.
In an odd way they bring me peace because there is less work for me to do.
If I have something leftover I feel a sense of security.

But lately, I’m figuring out that God doesn’t work with leftovers.
They are not faith builders.
When I know that I have something left in the fridge to eat, I don’t have to think about anything.
I have a back up.

God has continually been filling up our plates.
He has been giving us exactly what we need…for that meal.
Like the manna that fell in the wilderness, as much as I’ve wanted to have something to save, I haven’t.
And it’s driving me mad.

I want something leftover, because I’m clinging to the leftover.
And honestly, there is very little that is leftover that is still as good as it was the day you made it.
Why would I cling to that?
Why would I think that having something left-over would bring me more satisfaction?
would cause me to count me to count more blessings.

Sunday night I had some of the best pizza that I’ve had in a long time.
But, I guarantee had we had any leftover it would have tasted nothing like it did the night before.
And as the 4 of us sat and stared at the last couple of pieces, we knew that.
Deep down, all of us knew that we couldn’t leave any of it.
It would be a loss to just leave it there and not eat it.
It would be a loss to take it home and reheat it the next day.
So we all shared in it.
We enjoyed it.
We embraced that moment and gave thanks for it.
Something as small as a pizza.

And that is what God is calling me to. Repeatedly.
Banging me on the head with. Repeatedly.
To embrace right now.
To enjoy what is front of me right now.
To praise Him for the provision….right now.
Refusing to focus on whether there will be leftovers.
Not worrying about what to do if there isn’t any left.
But calling out thanksgiving for this.

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