weakness

You must expect to feel weakest when you are enjoying your greatest triumph. If God has wrought for you great deliverances in the past, your present difficulty is only like Samson’s thirst and the Lord will not let you faint, nor suffer the daughter of the uncircumcised to triumph over you. The road of sorrow is the road to heaven, but there are wells of refreshing water all along the route. ~ Spurgeon

When faced with overwhelming experiences or expectations, I have a tendency to either focus too much on the what if’s, over analyze and more often retreat into myself. I will seek ways to take control of the coming situation (that is purely out of my control) even if those things don’t even relate to what is coming.

I am having surgery in a few weeks and while I’ve had procedures and babies in the past, this is the first time I am losing a part of me that should be there. It is loss and an overwhelming sense of the unknown.

It’s realizing that my life is truly in God’s hands.

So of course I’ve spent the last few weeks pondering all the what if’s and trying to over-plan, make lists and figure out how to make it all go smoothly. Yet, if I spent half as much time pondering the unknown as sitting at His feet, how much greater would my sense of peace be?

The Lord is moving me into a place of extreme weakness. There are so many things in my life right now that are out of my control and are pushing me into places I don’t want to be. But when I start to find myself retreating and over analyzing, I move myself into counting His grace.
His grace for provision in times past.
His grace for peace in times past.
His promise of wells of refreshing water.

Strange that there must be a shrinking of the sinew whenever we win the day. As if the Lord much teach us our littleness, our nothingness, in order to keep us within bounds. ~ Spurgeon

Oh, that I would find peace in this shrinking. That the Lord would remove and change my outlook. That my eyes…that my heart… would no longer be focused on my thirst or sufferings or fears but on Him.

For those who live according to the flesh have their outlook shaped by the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit have their outlook shaped by the things of the Spirit. ~ Romans 8:5

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