a fullness

And of his fulness have all we received.”
John 1:16

Spurgeon speaks of a fullness of God…

“There is a fulness of blessings of every sort and shape; a fulness of grace to pardon, of grace to regenerate, of grace to sanctify, of grace to preserve, and of grace to perfect. There is a fulness at all times; a fulness of comfort in affliction; a fulness of guidance in prosperity. A fulness of every divine attribute, of wisdom, of power, of love; a fulness which it were impossible to survey, much less to explore. “It pleased the Father that in him should all fulness dwell.”

I spend most of my days struggling with the feeling of emptiness. Emptying myself as I care and try to nurture my children. Emptying myself as I care for this home I’ve been blessed with. Emptying myself as I try to keep up with a steadily growing business. Emptying myself as I respond to my husband. So many things bring me to a place of emptiness.

But, it is empty where the Lord wants me. It is only in my emptiness that He can move in fulness. It is my perspective that needs to change. That I would not wander through my days struggling with my emptiness, but rather praying that His fulness would become greater.
Greater so that I can respond with compassion that is His compassion.
Greater so that I can receive His blessings with the fulness of expectation.
Greater so that I can give and give and give, knowing that it isn’t me that is giving…but Him.

In a few weeks I will feel an emptiness that I have never felt. It will be the forever closing of a chapter in our family life. It is scary to ponder. Sad to ponder. And while I tend to swallow the tears, I know that I need to embrace this emptiness for it is only in embracing it that I can move forward into His complete fulness.

It is only in completely laying myself at His feet and into His arms that I can experience the
dwelling of His grace of regeneration into something so much more.

I depend wholly upon Thee, wean me from all other dependencies. Thou art the foundation of goodness. ~ Valley of Vision #183

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