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envy

November 28, 2011

I’ve never really been a “Black Friday” shopper. Most of the time I try to have my list ready and if I see anything good in the ads, I will get up and go. I’ve done it once in the last 6 years I bet. This year things started at midnight, and the likelihood of getting me to do anything at midnight besides sleep is pretty slim to nothing!

But, my husband and I did venture out on the later morning of Black Friday this year to get a couple of things. What made this year even more difficult was honestly the severe lack of money. The husband hadn’t gotten paid yet and we really didn’t have the money to spend on anything Christmas right now. And as I sit here on Monday morning, I can tell you that I am so happy that it worked out that way.

I was walking through a store on Friday and I was overcome by this frustration that there was so much I wanted and couldn’t have. There was this crazy urge within me telling me that I needed to get a “real” job and start earning some money so that I could actually walk into a store and buy the things I saw and liked. It was horrible.

Talking later to my husband I told him that I didn’t want to do Black Friday anymore and honestly will probably do most of my holiday shopping online or downstairs in my sewing nook. Being surrounded by people carrying bags and bags of stuff and people in line waiting to buy all this “great” stuff just overwhelmed me with envy.

Envy believes the better you have, the more you matter. Envy can’t appreciate a house, a piece of beach or a success that it doesn’t own. It can’t read Architectural Digest without feeling deprived (or can’t walk through the mall)…You can mistakenly believe that, if it were all yours, the black hole of your heart would stop aching.”

I am sitting here in a warm, cozy and charming house. I am surrounded by gobs of things. They might be worn out, or the wrong color, or not exactly what I would have chosen, but they are mine and they function. We are provided for in abundance. I am repentant of my greed and attitude and long for my mind to quickly be stayed on the blessings that surround me.

“...the only way I know to break [envy’s] stranglehold is to practice gratitude – not just for what is mine, but for what is yours.”

326. for a heater that works
327. for a roof over my head that protects me from this deluge of rain
328. for the way that God surprises me everyday
329. for the realization that He is the one I need to look to for acceptance, support and ultimate love
330. for Thanksgiving
331. for a walk in the park with my family after a hearty meal
332. for a good time chatting and visiting with my in-laws
333. finding two checks to refill our bank account with
334. for God’s provision…in His timing
335. the joy of planning gifts for others
336. the anticipation of the week ahead
337. the way that God can take a familiar story and weave new insights into my life time and time again
338. sleep
339. a good book to read
340. listening to my children giggle
341. pulling out the holiday decorations and watching the excitement in my little girl
342. decorating our house for the holidays, step by step and with great thought

*quotes taken from A.A. Calhoun and her book Invitations from God.

  1. I really liked this post. Ah, the foolish desires the world wedges into our hearts – and makes them ache for no good reason! Ah, for the enjoyment of the cozy sewing nook, the warmth of a dry house, the good book, the giggles. There comes the joy.
    It was a pleasure reading this.
    Thank you.

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