redeeming the hours of 3 and 5

There is something that happens in our house between the hours of three and five.
These are the hours of coming back together.
A mother, a boy and a girl.
They are the hours of open time and of space to regroup, but also responsibilities.
They are often the hours that selfishness rears it’s ugly head.
But more often than not, it’s my selfishness.

We’ve all three gone about our day within the boundaries of others, responsibilities to complete and tasks to be done. And now we all three have to figure out how to come back together and release that pent up frustration, energy and hunger.

I’ve gone throughout my day with such space. More often than not, with the space to set my own agenda. So why, when these people that I love so much come back into my space do I feel threatened? I’ve had hours of space. Time to complete the list that I feel I need to complete.

From Various Fall 2011

Yet, when these people come back into this space, they are greeted more often with a distracted and selfish mother. Instead of greeting them wholly with abandon, ready to embrace them fully. I mourn the things I didn’t accomplish. I mourn how I spent that time. But that’s it. It is me continuing to move in my agenda. Continuing to move in safety. As long as I move within the arena of myself, I move without any risk.

From Various Fall 2011

But mothering is a risk.
I’m beyond grateful for these hours I’ve been given. But even more than redeeming these two hours when we come together, I need Him to redeem the time He’s given me while they are gone. Redeem the things I read, listen to, my actions…that they would be filled with Him. That my time during the day would fill me up with Him so that when we regroup at three I am ready to pour out myself fully into them.

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1 Comment

  1. hi neighbor…oh I am right there with you…the melding together…love without my selfish boundaries…prayed along these lines this morning…thanks…
    Blessings and my we pour well together today…

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