making a family

I’ve been wrestling a bunch with what I am longing for our family to look like. I’m surrounded by SO many different kinds of families and while that’s such a great thing and such a blessing, in some ways it’s so confusing. Then I get online and read blogs and “meet” other families and I get even more jumbled up. I can so easily take what I read, see and experience and think we need to figure out how to recreate that. But the truth is, we need to be creating (not RE-creating) what God wants for our family.

I’ve been pressed lately into just praying for a closer family unit. I feel like we are all going in so many different directions and even when we are in the same house, we aren’t really together. My husband and I have spent a lot of time in the past year working through our individual issues (which is very, very good and needed) but now I’m feeling this tug that we need to start coming together as a family. When we decided to homeschool last Fall, I know there was a huge part of me that thought: this is it! This is the thing that is going to draw us together as a family. Boy, was I wrong. The Lord truly called us to homeschool last Fall (and then stop this past Spring) but it wasn’t for the reason I had thought or even hoped for.

I’m longing (and realizing that longing should be urging me to be on my knees more) for us to figure out how to unwind as a family. Not just unwind individually, but how to experience the joy of being together as a family. I know that so much of our confusion stems from us not coming from families that were truly together. We have no model from our own experiences of what this should look like. Which in so many ways should free us. Should bring us to a place where we can open up and say, Lord make this family what You long for it to be. Not what we think it should be, nor what we had growing up, but what You want.

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