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fear and anxiety | freedom | intentions | one thousand gifts

words…

March 15, 2011

forgive us for slouching in your Presence…
…with little expectation
…less awe…
help me to want what I need…”
(F. Ohler)

“Lent is deliberate
intentional
we are a culture that worships at the feet of pleasure and perpetual consumption…
how can I make room for the Savior?
and recount my thoughtless indulgence…
(E. Button)

“Be free and blameless from willful sins…
do not let willful sins rule over me…a willful sin being one that has dominion over me”
(B. Moore)

FEAR is my willful sin. When I let FEAR engulf me. When I let WORRY engulf me. I am letting sin rule over me.
When MY plans supersede His plans…when I move on in THOUGHTLESS INDULGENCE to my whims.

“For God has not given us a spirit of FEAR, but of
POWER
and of LOVE
and of SOUND MIND.”
(II Timothy 1:7)

This past month has been a month of entering into others pain. I have been to two funerals. I have sat and listened to a friend struggle with miscarriage. I have sat and listened to friends struggle with adoption news and delays. A friend lost her mother. I have watched the news in Japan and prayed daily for our friends in Toyko who are struggling so greatly with fear and worry. I do not enter into others pain well. I do not enter into my pain well. But the Lord is putting me in places where I have no choice but to respond. Not with words…for what could I say?
But to respond with prayer for them. Prayer in a way that I’ve never prayed before.
Despite this pain I am seeing, I am so grateful.
Grateful for this place He is moving me towards.
This place of deep prayer.
This place where I don’t just passively move on with a snippet prayer for these people;
but where I am lifting my hands and lifting them to the Lord.

He is leading me to a place where I have to be
deliberate
intentional
blameless
and a place where I am no longer slouching but
sitting up and lifting up.
Praise you Lord Jesus Christ.

80. You are the mover of the seas, but
81. You are the great Deliverer
82. You have given me a spirit of power and sound mind
83. You are TRUE
84. how thankful I am for deep friendships
85. You are adequate
86. Your peace and how it washes over me
87. a longing for that quiet inner joy
88. Today is all you ask me to cope with
89. the whispers of your forgiveness
90. stories of those that have fallen so far, but You have redeemed so greatly

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