defeated

It should never amaze me that a scripture that brings such JOY one day can be the one I have to CLING to the next day.
This morning has been one where the word “defeated” has been heavy on my heart.
Nothing critical has happened;
just that place of heaviness.

I hate this place.
It is a place that I have struggled with and in so many ways accepted as
who I am for so, so many years.

But it is where I am learning that it is not who I am.
This is where gratitude comes in. Where I fall prostrate before the Lord and not just ask for His mercy,
not just beg of him to remove this yoke of heaviness,
but where I move
where I make the decision to focus my mind and heart on things that He has given me.

So I can sit and beg for Him to remove this…therefore requiring me to do nothing
or I can move
and find myself moving closer to Him.

That is where these words bring me comfort:
let us run the race
for this is a race
with perseverance
meaning I have to move on and out and keep going and not just beg for a respite
that is marked out for us
rejoicing that He is the author of my life, He has marked it out
fixing our eyes on Jesus
that during these times where I am so easily overwhelmed that my eyes would move up
consider Him who endured
He knows my struggle.  Him that hung so heavy on a cross.
do not lose heart
for He has rescued me

~from Hebrews 12

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