There seems to be a romantic notion that presents itself when one becomes a Christian. Worship songs, pastors, books etc describe the beauty that comes when we turn our lives over the Christ and He begins to reign in our hearts. What isn’t told (or maybe isn’t heard) to most people, is the fact that for that beauty to truly shine forth, we must be broken
or admit our brokenness.
God doesn’t go after the beautiful. Look at his disciples and those he met with, talked with and broke bread with. They were the outcasts. Their stories, their lives, were full of nothing but cracks and holes. What is amazing is that throughout Scripture, it is story after story of sins exposed and yet God pursuing.
My sins exposed, yet God continuing to meet me where I am.
The trouble is what we do with those exposed cracks and holes.
The Lord wants to shine out of our brokenness into the world…I want to fill in those cracks and try to fix myself.
My fears and anxieties I try to cover up.
My failure and fears I refuse to admit.
These cracks, I try to hide.
I’ve spent the last few years desperately trying to fill in these cracks in my brokenness. It’s been in the last few months that the Lord has started taking his chisel and hammering away at all the things I’ve filled them with. He is hammering hard on my struggles with fear.
All the while he is gently whispering
and filling me
and replacing those cracks with His truth
It is crazy hard not to try and stop His hand (as if I could) as he chips away. But His sweet whisper and the gentle touch of those nail scarred hands are reminding me that He is transforming me into something that will shine His light
so that my cracks will become invisible
in the light of His love.