i just might be a homeschool drop-out

About this time last year I was loving my job. Well, maybe not loving, but things were good. About a month later we started realizing that the strain of both of us working was too much, the chick started having some issues in daycare and I started thinking about other employment options. In the course of applying for those said options, the idea of homeschooling popped up. If you’ve read this blog at all over the last few years, you know that homeschooling is something that I really wanted and longed for. I was beyond myself with excitement and fear when I realized that this was the path the Lord was leading us down.

Why did we choose to homeschool? First, because I knew I wasn’t going back to work at the same school and we didn’t want to keep the Rooster there if I wasn’t going to be there. Second, the school we were zoned for is a 1200+ student school. I wasn’t ready for that. Third, after working for that county for a year, I really didn’t want my son (and daughter) in said county. Fourth, we wanted that opportunity to shape his friendships etc etc. Fifth, because this is truly where the Lord was leading us.

Looking back, I can easily see it was because God knew we would be moving. And it wouldn’t be a small move either, but a move to a different city and different county. I’m beyond grateful that we didn’t start (or keep) the Rooster in a school, only to pull him out and start over again. As hard as our hardest days have been, being together every day through this move has made it all easier in so many ways. While life was stressful before and after the move, I can’t imagine how it would have been if we would have been balancing school and school schedules through it all.

But, it’s been hard. I knew that the Rooster and I would butt heads big time. I knew that it would be hard for us. We are both mopers at times and both have a hard time moving on from disagreements and frustrations. I knew that it would be hard for the chick. I knew that I would have to “push” her off at times so that I could focus on schoolwork with Rooster. I knew that everyone who homeschools has days they hate it. I knew that the first year pretty much always sucks. But I’m beginning to think that our season of homeschooling was just that…a season. We started homeschooling partly because of the school district that we were zoned for. Now we can walk to school and are zoned for some pretty awesome schools. It’s hard to keep struggling through these days when I know what’s around the corner.

Is it all a loss? No way! I have enjoyed watching my son’s reading take off. I have loved watching him totally get a math concept. I have loved watching him interact and play with his sister more and more. I have loved watching him hole up in his room to listen to his latest book on CD.

But…it’s all beginning to take it’s toll. The rough times and bad days are building up and I am beginning to realize that in some ways I am losing out on time with both of them. It’s crazy to think that sending my son back to full day school would mean gaining time with him, but it would.

Am I giving up? I hate to see it as that. And I don’t know what the answer is right now. I just know that I am praying and praying for wisdom and in the end I am waking up enjoying each day that we have at home all together.

Who knows what tomorrow might bring?

4 Replies to “i just might be a homeschool drop-out”

  1. oh friend, of course you aren’t giving up! I think you are right in that the Lord was preparing you and your family for this move, and He will keep preparing you to either keep doing homeschool or to send Him to your great new public schools. Just keep seeking Him and he will provide revelation. Praying for you…big decision.

  2. I read a post this past week about how if we don’t commit fully to something we feel like failures, but oftentimes the success is found in the balance between two points. KUDOS to you for having the courage to try out both places and then KNOW the best balance for your family.

  3. YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE!!!

    Not everyone is called to homeschool, just not like everyone is called to send their kids to public school – or called to send them to Christian schools. If you feel like God is calling you to homeschool, then by all means stick with it and push through the craziness, but if you feel like maybe he is calling you to go somewhere else at least go look and see what your options are. It isn’t easy and it is humbling , but if your children are where God wants them , then you will be in the right place.

    Remember I am the crazy woman who took her kids out of the wonderful, great magnet to put them in the school they are really zoned for and I can tell you with all my heart that God lead us, we went and we have been blessed.

    Hang in there – we will support you in any decision you make.

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