So last Friday ranks up there as one of the hardest and most miserable days of my life. While these little four legs were adorable and sweet, they drove us (especially me) to a most amazing point. After much tears, conversations and more tears (and loads of barking, nipping, pooping, more barking and very little sleep in this house) we ended up taking our sweet Ellie back to the shelter. But this is what she taught me:
1) I have a very good life. It took an amazingly hard week to smack me on the head and wake me up to the beauty of the life that I have right now, as it is.
2) Sometimes God moves in quiet whispers and sometimes He grabs your face and screams in your face “wake up!” I often think that if I had this or if we did that, then we would be much happier as a family. That days would be smoother and more graceful. This was part of the dog dream. If we have a dog, then it’s going to bring us together and be fun and sweet and create such amazing memories. What I woke up to is the realization that that is happening EVERY DAY even without a dog or a cat or another baby or a new house or….fill in the blank.
3) I love my husband. Today we celebrate our 12th anniversary and we decided at the very last minute to go away. It had to have been the most amazing, sweet, relaxing 24 hours we’ve ever had. I’m sure much of that had to do with the fact that we had both experienced an amazingly difficult week, but we like to think it was just because. I love that he loves me no matter what stupid decisions I make, no matter how much I lose it and not matter how much I am not the woman I want to be for him.
4) I am embraced daily by such a sweet Jesus. I read this morning in My Utmost for His Highest such a sweet reminder of what Jesus did for us. When He was on the mount of Transfiguration, He didn’t leave and go into heaven at that point. If He would have, He would have only been a glorious being to us. But He turned His back on that glory and came back to become the Son of Man. At the Ascension, He didn’t just return to heaven as the Son of God, but also as the Son of Man. He opened the door for anyone to walk through. I am beyond thankful this day for His grace, mercy and yes, even for taking me in His hands and screaming in my face. I am thankful that He has woken me up.