One of the biggest decision that we have to make this year is where to send our son for Kindergarten.
A little background:
Our son is incredibly social, he is not a homebody (goes crazy and drives everyone else crazy when he is stuck at home) but he does need time at home to unwind (too much away time makes him very hard to manage). He is incredibly gifted in language, which often gets him in big trouble. His language is moving at a much more rapid rate than his maturity and ability to understand it. We live in a very good school district. The school we are zoned for has fairly good reviews, is newer, but is very large. There are at least 10 kindergarten classrooms that I know of at this point.
Homeschooling is pretty much out at this point in our lives and for this child. If I am honest with myself, I know that I could not, at least at this age, homeschool this child. We’ve pondered a local classical christian private school. Academically this private school would provide him an amazing education, in a much smaller setting. My problem (besides coming up with the tuition) is that it is private. I struggle so much with the “salt and light” that we are supposed to be as believers. Yes, I want to protect my son from as much as I can, but I also want to educate him and teach him how to shelter his heart himself. He won’t be sheltered forever.
We do have another option for a private school and it is part of the preschool that he has been attending. But my struggle with this is that we more than likely wouldn’t be able to send him there forever. Once Little Chick started school, I doubt that we would be able to pay for both of them to go to private school full time. There is that possibility that I could teach there and our children could go for a reduced rate, but then I end up working full time again and I am pretty sure that is not what the Lord is desiring for us right now and not what I see in my future. And I am at this point where this sweet little man needs to be somewhere consistently. He’s been moved in and out of schools and daycares so much in his short 5 years that I’m so ready for him to have that.
So there is public school. If my husband and I are honest with ourselves, we will never have the money to pay for both children’s education for the next 20 years. He just doesn’t work in that kind of field and I still feel called to be at primarily at home and working for my church. I start to feel so certain that public school is o.k. I know I would get involved, be on the PTA, be in and out of the school as much as possible. I would be present. But then I read all these blogs about how I am throwing my child to the wolves. I am throwing him into Satan’s arms at an age that he can’t “defend” himself. Ach!
It’s been a long road, praying and trying to figure out what to do. I just don’t want to take this big decision and choose something because I am denying who I am. I don’t want to homeschool him or send him to a private school just because I don’t want to have to explain myself to others. It’s that crazy desire to fit in and not stand out. But in so many ways that would be what I am praying for my son. That he wouldn’t desire to fit in, that he would stand out and be a leader of his faith..even in kindergarten. The final decision surely hasn’t been made and only God knows where our Little Rooster will end up and all I can do is pray for clarity and discernment and that God will clearly reveal the path we are to take.