journal | spirituality

Hemmed In

July 3, 2008
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I am reading the book Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge. It never ceases to amaze me how the Lord brings books that I’ve wanted to read forever in to my life at the most perfect time. The last two weeks have been some of the hardest emotionally for me. This book is a reminder of the beauty of a woman’s soul. It is a reminder of who we are supposed to be and are in Christ. God cursed Eve with loneliness and heartache and an emptiness that nothing would be able to fill. Why did he do this?

He did it to save her. For as we all know personally, something in Eve’s heart shifted at the Fall. Something sent its roots down deep into her soul – and ours – that mistrust of God’s heart, that resolution to find life on our own terms. So God has to thwart her. In love, He has to block her attempts until, wounded and aching, she turns to him alone for her rescue. Jesus has to thwart us too – thwart our self-redemptive plans, our controlling andour hiding, thwart the ways we are seeking to fill the ache within us. Otherwise, we would never fully turn to Him for our rescue. Oh, we might turn to Him for our “salvation,” for a ticket to heaven when we die..And so you will see the gentle, firm hand of God in a woman’s life hemming her in…Whatever it is we have sought life apart from him, he disrupts our plans, our “way of life” which is not life at all.

Do you see my sunflower? The day I wrote the post about reaching upward, I came home from a terrible meeting to find that all three had fallen over. I thought..what now? But they all held on until that bloom opened up. They perservered through the pain of being bent over and out of proportion and opened up into an amazing bloom. These sunflowers are still teaching me amazing lessons about hanging on, despite being hemmed in by our circumstances and situations. These sunflowers are reminding me that beauty does come even in the midst of pain. These sunflowers are teaching me that even though my burden is great and my heart is sad, He stands at the door waiting for me to invite him in. He knocks through my sorrows and when I open up these broken places He heals and creates true beauty.

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