I had put this book aside for a few weeks as our ladies Bible study started up but today while the kiddos slept in (amazing!) I had a chance to read the next chapter. Again, I was blown away at how awesome God’s timing is. I have really been dealing a lot with forgiveness lately and also just bitterness with God over some things in my past. These few sections really spoke to me this morning. It was an awesome reminder that even in the midst of pain, brokenness, anger or happiness, God continues to pursue us. He continues to intercede for us and continues to demand that we give everything over to Him…everything! That means even all our anger. It is only when we give all that over to God that we begin to find true spiritual intimacy with Him.
When we read God’s story in the Old and New Testaments we are confronted with a God who is always after us, looking for us and who cries out each time he finds us with a divine despair…He wants us here, now, totally and unconditionally. As long as we continue to reduce prayer to occasional piety we keep running away from the mystery of God’s jealous love…Prayer means letting God’s creative love touch the most hidden places of our being and prayer means listening with attentive, undivided hearts to the inner movement of the Spirit of Jesus, even when that Spirit leads us to places we would rather not go.
Spiritual intimacy with God involves bringing more and more of myself into God’s presence and receiving more and more of God’s being into myself.
Be still before the Lord and wait.
Be still and know that I am God.
In silence my soul waits for you and you alone, oh God
This is a prayer of self-emptying that enables us to receive whatever it is that God wants to give.
I am learning that is only in this place that I am in now that I can start to empty myself of all this hurt, bitterness, anger and other sinful things and that I can begin to be filled more and more with His Spirit.